Single: Is it really all that and a bag of chips?

Okay so recently my single friend Claire posted something she found on her facebook page. It was called Fab Over Fifty. The main jist is Hey! You may be over 50 and lucky if you even know how to turn on your computer let alone navigate the net, but check this shit out! You too can find a man! But not for you. Oh No!!! For your single kids!!! As if we didn't get annoyed enough with our parents trying to set us up with every over douche bag with a pulse. Some genius had to go and set up a website so the douche baggery is no longer local, but now it can be GLOBAL!!!

But my favorite part is that they even added that nieces, nephews, granddaughters and grandsons are welcome too! Bad enough my mother is trying to set me up, but must grandma set me up too? I mean let's get realistic here. I work in a retirement community, but just because someone is nice to you when they bring you your dried up, precooked, gravy soaked resemblance of meatloaf that you should date them. (Now don't get me wrong. Many of the guys I work with are great, but I NEVER mix work and relationships. It's a recipe for disaster.)

Now I totally understand that setting up people can sometimes work. I actually introduced two of my friends, and they are now quite happily married. It can work, but it makes me think back to when I was once set up by my mother. Now she has only liked one or two guys that I've dated in the past and one that she liked was a King Douche bag. I mean I think I spent 80% of our relationship drunk. That can't be a sign of a good man right? Well come on he wasn't a total toad. He did buy booze for me and my friends. That whole story leads up to the fact that her taste in men sucks. I mean don't get me wrong. She did marry my dad, and I think he rocks, but that's about all we agree on. So she got this brilliant idea to set me up with a guy she works with. We'll call him George. My initial thoughts were hell no!! But after months of pushing I finally said fine just to get her off my ass. So George and I randomly started talking (I have a sneaking suspicion that my mom kept harassing him to call me) and finally bit the bullet to meet up. Very long story cut short. He ended up being Prince Douche bag. Not quite on the level of King Douche bag, but a very close second. After that I gave my mom 5 levels of hell and told her to NEVER set me up again.

What's up with our parents wanting to set us up?? I mean I can understand the whole not wanting to leave us alone in the world bit, but must I settle? Why can't I date around until I find someone that doesn't make me want to throat punch them repeatedly? (And don't even get me started on my grandmother constantly asking when I'm going to have kids.) Sure Claire and I both agree that being single can be a total suckfest, but it has its good points too. I don't have to worry about waking my husband when I stumble in from a drunken night with the girls. I can buy as many shoes as I want without having to listen to them bitch. Best of all I can watch Twilight as many times as I want without having to hear about how gay the characters are or how lame the plot is. Good thing about being married is coming home to someone, dual incomes, and built in bug killers. (Unless the guy is just as much of a chick about killing bugs as you are.)

To be honest I'm not sure if I like being single, but I'll admit that first kiss from a guy you just started dating can be awesome. I like to keep hope that my soul mate is out there (and preferably not locked up in a mental institution never to get out.) Maybe I've already found him? But until then I'll just struggle on paying my bills, scream and jump up and down while beating the shit out of a bug with a shoe, and never EVER let my mom set me up again!!!!!!